27 October, 2020

Sir Ahmed Salman Rushdie

I suppose Outlook readers must now be familiar with my spat with Facebook

Illustration by Sorit
Sir Ahmed Salman Rushdie

I suppose Outlook readers must now be familiar with my spat with Facebook. The network insisted I use my official first name Ahmed and even temporarily cancelled my ‘Salman Rushdie’ user ID. Well, I sent some nasty tweets to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and insisted I have every right to be known as Salman. I even phoned Mark and told him that Ahmed Rushdie wouldn’t strike a chord (except if one hit the high C) or ring a bell or sound any horn. “Salmon, you’re a strange kettle of fish,” he said. “It’s Salman,” I protested, “and what’s so fishy about me?” He just laughed, which made me even madder, “Listen, calling me Ahmed would be like calling Rajiv Gandhi ‘Ratna’ (which incidentally, was his middle name) or referring to Dom Moraes as Dominic Francis Moraes.” That outburst did it. “Okay, enough is enough,” Mark said irritatedly, “Mr Satanic Verses, thou shalt hitherto be known as Salman.” I sure had sorted out a major...



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