Starring: Salman Khan, Asin, Paresh Rawal
Directed by Anees Bazmee
You don’t need to see Ready to ascertain that it’s a critic-proof film. There’s nothing unusual in it amassing a record opening either. Didn’t we all see that coming with the first beat of Dhinka Chika, the uber popular pelvic-thrust song? But despite such signals, I was unprepared for the unadulterated gunk I had to wade through on the screen.
There are films that’re so bad they turn out to be quite good—all for poking fun at. Ready is not one. It’s impossibly bad. In principle, it can’t qualify as a film at all, it is merely a vehicle for Salman Khan, who rides it rough-shod. I am a star. So anything goes, he must think. His promise of reinvention in...