23 April, 2021

Muzaffarpur Diary

Machchharpur? Smells that can assault even a Covid patient? Yes, yes. But India’s most unlivable city? Bah! It’s my city of joys, my crush, my teenage Brazzers. And those litchis!

Illustration by Saahil
Muzaffarpur Diary
Sweetish Dough Of Nostalgia

If a sleepy town where you spent your late teen years is called the most unlivable place in the country, you are bound to be offended. More so, if that is where you found your first crush to be reciprocal, learned the art of giving pleasure to yourself and bunked a math test at school to ogle, wide-eyed, a blink-and-miss topless scene in the morning show of Texas Detour at a seedy theatre. A place where you stumbled on all adolescent delights, eons before the Brazzers came: vernacular classics with no-holds-barred details about the human anatomy, written and pictorial, available for a pittance on a pavement just behind school. How on earth can my city of so many joys be placed at the bottom on the Ease of Living Index 2020? Even Dahod, Kavaratti and Thoothukudi—places I never knew existed—are ranked higher. I hereby reserve my right to sue the surveyors. Just need an attorney to fight my case pro bono to restore the...

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