When we use a camera, we’re essentially saying: “My own eye is insufficient”. Photographs throw up details neither I nor the mirror can capture. And video offers a way to capture my most evanescent effects, the fine effects I live, that place of intimacy we hanker after—all that which is otherwise lost. The video also captures how much I feel in sexual intimacy. It’s too much for me to imagine how to begin observing it, to try to know myself. With a video camera, I create an observer. The self-conscious part of me retreats into that camera.
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Older generations didn’t have video cameras, nor selfies. Intimacy meant a lot, but something about it was unspeakable, so most of us stopped ourselves from knowing more about those moments. As a civilisation, we only heard about the orgasm as something almost close to and...