26 September, 2020

Improve Your Engglishhh

If this blundering pastiche can pass for a book review, then mimesis is a form of subversive flattery

Improve Your Engglishhh

It is imperative that a book called Engglishhh must be reviewed according to numerological principles, even though it might subtitle itself 'Fictional Dispatches from a Hyperreal Nation', and even though that might necessitate the creation of a more holistic system of numerology than the one constructed by Roohann Shahha, the adorable, dyslexic poet of the titular dispatch--a metasystem more suited to this cruel and real world of hypersquare editors, armed with spellchecks, who have no inkling of the subtle mysteries that numbers and letters work in conjunction. In fact, the metasystem is based on what Shahha and his expert committee arrived at but is simpler in application: it takes into account page numbers, the number of paras, the number of sentences per para, the number of words in sentences. Since these numbers wield an overarching influence on the numerological values and karmic significance of the individual letters in the text, adjusting them according to some simple rules makes it possible to avoid awkward spellings (such as this reviewer's name)...



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